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FACES FOR RADIO

The Mission: To find an actor's silliest/ugliest moment in any given movie. Because no matter how hot a movie star looks, they can't escape the pause button.
Jun 24 '11

JFK (1991)

If you wear horned glasses, hipsters will come.

Let me tell you a story about the horrible conspiracy surrounding the Assassination of John F. Kennedy:

wait...am I watching Philadelphia?

A group of crazy homosexuals got gussied up in crazy get-ups and got high on drugs…

Wait...am I watching Amedeus?

…and Kevin Bacon said “LET’S KILL THAT STRAIGHT JFK STUD!” And Tommy Lee Jones let out a giant “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT” in agreement. The End.

Wait...am I watching Roseanne?

SOUNDS LIKE A BULLSHIT STORY, YA HOMOPHOBE!

(Happy Chicago Gay Pride Weekend!)

May 20 '11

Quickie Post #2: Blade 2 (2002)

KISSY FACE.

*SMOOCH SMOOCH*

May 17 '11

Easy A (2010)

Emma Stone, your face is priceless.

I'VE GOT A POCKET GOT A POCKET FULL OF SUNSHINE

UGGGGGGHHHAAAAG!

Check out that bottom lip! Stink face!

mmmmm seafood.

Bynes Love.

SHARP.

SHARP.

May 4 '11

Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984)

This movie is the best movie to be made during my year of birth (second only to Amadeus). This movie has everything! Commentary on the social class system, local townsfolk against the corporate machine, interracial relationships, and good old BREAK DANCING! Who could ask for more?!

Oh! Could I maybe get some Ice T with my movie?

LEATHER DADDY

WHY YES YOU CAN! God, he’s wearing a lot of studs.

Did Horatio Sanz have an older brother in movies?

"Go talk to her! She thinks you're sexy!"

And what follows is Ozone giving Turbo some advice on how to woo a lady:

*wink*

Yeowza!

ROOMMATES FOREVER!!!

…but after failing miserably, they just decide to gay it out instead!

May 2 '11

24 (various seasons)

In order to congratulate Jack Bauer for a job well done tracking down that elusive terrorist Osama Bin Laden, I’ve decided to post pictures that I’ve accumulated from watching SEASON AFTER SEASON of 24. And sorry, but no Chloe O’Brien pictures, because she has perpetual stink-face and it would have been ALL TOO EASY.

I NEED A MEDIC!!

JACK’S GOT A NERVE DISEASE!!!

You're just gonna have to trust that stare.

Sorry, Bill. I’m too hopped up on Heroin to de-brief anymore.

My brother had the SMOOTHEST voice!

Wayne Palmer made this face ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Jack's all that!

Jack: Cole, come in…Cole? Are you okay?

Cole: I’m fine, I’m just frozen in horror, thinking about that time I played Freddy from Scooby Doo.

Find a happy place....find a happy place...

…and after 8 days of US terrorism action, 2 years of chinese torture, and a lame day in Africa, Jack finally gets the quiet, dark place he deserves…UNTIL THE MOVIE COMES OUT!!!!!

Apr 21 '11

Blazing Saddles (1974)

And now for some nostalgia. I used to watch this movie endlessly when I was 9. Mom was like ‘you’ve got to watch this’. Best parenting idea EVER.

Have you ever seen such cruelty?

Ooooh! Ow! Ouch!

Better than Blago!

It’s good to be the Gov!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *choke!*

Heddy Lamaar with bulge-face…whoops, I meant Hedley.

Do what he say! Do what he say!

This movie taught me that black people are so scary, they can take themselves hostage and no one would notice.

...about the newwww sherrrrrrif!

What a face, Johnson!

Hey! Where all the white women at?

Look at the grin on Gene’s face. I love that man.

And now for my next impression...Jesse Owens!

Wow, and he looks so DAMN FINE during the rest of the movie…:)

Sorry it’s been so long between movies…I’ve been watching EVERY SEASON OF 24 (and getting some awesome pics along the way)…next movie, I’m gonna try and take a stab at RED DRAGON!!!! Sweetbreads!

Mar 28 '11

The Cable Guy (1996)

Jim Carrey got TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS for this movie. Despite most of my friends hating it, I didn’t mind it. I was really wondering what the verdict was on the Sweet Twins murder case, and it taught me that if you kill your twin brother, you can blame it on an Asian gang.

OHHH BILLY

I’d be licking that glass if I were you, Brod.

mmmm sexy mouthguard

Mouth Guards make everyone look Radio-Faceish.

Hey Jack! Play the greatest song in the world! Or I'll eat your soul!

Well look at you, Skinny Minnie!

Grace Slick, eat your heart out.

It’s like everything that Jefferson Airplane stood for is speaking THROUGH him.

Yikes! He's been possessed by the 60's!

NOW IT’S POSSESSING HIM! OUT, GRACE SLICK! OUT!

Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?

And Janeane Garofalo’s bar wench was superb…at the very least, she gets a chest A for effort!

Mar 3 '11

Good Will Hunting (1997)

It’s the FEEL GOOD HIT OF THE YEAR!!!!

Gonna pee! GONNA PEEEE!

It’s a classic Boston tale of happy-go-lucky kids, doin’ things like GROWING UP!

WEEEEEEEEEEE!

They run around town and do CRRRRAAAAAAAZY STUFF! 

Minnie Driver's never looked better!

Oh, yeah, and there’s a genius dude and a shrink in there somewhere too. I think.

Feb 17 '11

Quickie-Post #1: Dreamcatcher (2003)

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Driving Miss Daisy II: COPTER CHASE

Feb 17 '11

Goodfellas (1990)

Ray Liotta, you laugh like a freak and I love you.

Oh, Joe! You little midget, you're hilarious!

Oh you're killin' me!

No! Really! I'm pissin' blood! Ouch-ah!